‘That’s so AI!’ What gen Alpha’s biggest insult tells us

Name: “That’s AI!”

Age: Brand new.

Appearance: Primary schools everywhere.

What’s AI? It’s just a thing the kids are saying now: “That’s AI!” or “That’s so AI!”

But what is? Something inauthentic, unbelievable or rubbish.

Which was made by AI? No. Artificial intelligence has very little to do with this.

But isn’t artificial intelligence poised to destroy humankind? Very possibly, but that doesn’t concern us right now.

It doesn’t? No. The kids – gen Alpha – have noticed that certain qualities of AI-generated slop, such as the way it’s superficially convincing but ultimately cheap and of dubious value, can be found in lots of other things: knock-off merchandise, exaggerated claims, excuses your parents make. If something is considered somehow suspect, then it is also, by definition, AI.

Is “That’s AI” the new “six-seven”? No, this bit of slang means something: the young people have simply broadened the definition of AI to make it equivalent to “bullshit”.

So it’s always deployed as an insult? Always.

But aren’t things more complicated than that? Couldn’t AI also be our saviour, as long as good judgment is used and the right guardrails are in place? While the rest of us are having that debate, gen Alpha has already made up its mind: AI is so AI.

What will happen when AI finds out it’s AI? Will it get trapped in a logical feedback loop until all the datacentres start exploding? You’re not a very scientific person, are you?

Anyway, didn’t Donald Trump just change the name of artificial intelligence to “super intelligence”, or SI? SI is so AI. And Donald Trump is AI.

Not for the first time this year, I feel like dumping all my tech stocks. Tech stocks are AI.

What about driverless taxis? Driverless taxis are AI, especially the ones that have humans in the driver’s seat.

My job in marketing was certainly AI, which is probably why AI took it. I’m sorry.

Do say: “That’s so AI!”

Don’t say: “No, that’s Al – Al Gordon. He’s in my year, and he’s actually OK. But his shoes are AI.”